Ajit Balakrishnan is perhaps one of the most tech-savvy entrepreneurs in the country. And his IT-savvy does not lie in using technology for its own sake, but using it to create services for the consumer. Always striving to create technologically sophisticated platforms but with a penchant for user-friendly and simple interfaces, Ajit is a part of important think tanks such as the review committee on Indian Information Technology Act and Confederation of Indian Industry s (CII) task force on e-Commerce.

In a no holds barred interview with Tabrez Khan, the Rediff CEO almost manages to give one a feeling of a virtual tour of IT’s evolution in the Indian Industry.

What are the key factors that determine success in your industry? How are you as a company responding to these challenges?

We are a consumer business in the sense that we deal with users. In India there are 30 million PC users and 100 million on the mobile phone. Success is not essentially about technology but figuring out what are the real issues people have in life and trying to solve them through innovative use of technology.

For example recently when the CAT results were announced, 300,000 candidates and their multiple relatives wanted to simultaneously know how they had fared. We responded by enabling CAT results on the mobile phone, which meant that candidates or their well-wishers just had to send an SMS with their roll numbers and they would get the results by SMS.

So a lot of it depends on quickly responding technologically to an existing demand, which solves people s anxieties. Soon after Mumbai terror attacks we had a facility where people could upload videos, and some of them were quite remarkable.

Increasingly we see our role as a media entity is to provide a platform which is technologically sophisticated but at the same time simple to use. If you have a thought to express which is political, post it on a message board, if you want to meet people with similar views with one click connect to them. If you have a video you want the world to see for social justice reasons or entertainment or for any other reason, we have a platform which lets you do that.

So all these are recurring themes, mobile, PC, user generated content, collective intelligence of people brought to bear on a particular topic, all this generates the cutting edge. But this has to be done in an absolutely simple and user-friendly way. They call me the chief simplicity officer here, because with every new product we make I question my team, will my mother be able to use that? If the answer is no, we need to make it simpler.

What has been impact of the US meltdown on your business? How are you coping with the current recessionary business climate?

I keep telling my younger colleagues that this is the seventh recession of my work life, since I graduated from IIM Calcutta in 1971. We have roughly one recession every 4 years or so. So we have the recession now driven largely by the Wall Street crisis, before that we had one in 2000 when the dotcom bubble burst, in 1996-97 which was led by the Asian financial crisis and we had a horrible one in 1989-90 that led to India becoming bankrupt. And we had a few before that. So recessions come and they last typically for two years.

Each time we were faced with a recession it looked like the world was going to end, but like the sun sets recessions also go away. However as long as it lasts, revenue becomes hard to get, you no longer grow at the breathtaking pace as during a boom, forget growth even remaining at the same place becomes a challenge, very often you see declines. If you are staying at the same place during a recession often you are doing very well, it is foolish to try and grow by spending more on advertising and distribution. But the other feature of recession is that costs also go down.

Like recently we had to shift our office in New York from one location to another. We got it for the equivalent of Rs 65 per square feet, air-conditioned and fully done-up and for a period of 10 years. What that means is that in Mumbai real estate prices have to go down to Rs 40 per square feet. So the point is that costs go down during a recession and these are opportunities. Sometimes you bring down costs to such an extent that in the first year after recession you witness a bumper profit. But you need not always control costs by firing people, if they are incompetent you would fire them anyway, recession or no recession.

Also during times of boom there s a lot of irrational exuberance, which gets dealt with during a recession?

Yes, very true. Recessions are often the midwives for the transition from one economic era to the other. So during the transition from one economic era to another, the revenue hit you take is the least of your problems. Actually your business model might be becoming out of date and you have to watch out for that.

For instance, investment banks in New York and elsewhere did good business for 5-7 years on a business model that comprised borrowing $35 for each $ that they owned and taking bets on derivatives, which is a good thing to do, but whose risks they did not fully understand. And they discovered that their business model had become outdated.

Over the last ten years large enterprises have automated their business processes and increased their efficiencies by deploying information technology, what has been your own experience in this regard?

We are centered on technology so acceptance of technology here is universal, sometimes too much. We are at the leading edge of technology adoption in India.

Some of the things we are doing might sound arcane, nonetheless what keeps us awake at nights is to make sure everything we create is visible on every device such as PCs, mobiles, a Nokia or a Microsoft smart phone or a Google android phone. In the US they have 250 different types of mobile phones and four to five different PC types so how to design sites and make them work across different devices is a challenge which we just conquered. Our editors can now publish an item and it gets distributed across devices, as a result none of the device has a more than eight percent market share.

The other thing is that Internet penetration in India has a lot to do with languages. So we are working to ensure that we have a technological solution which enables conversion of content we create to multiple languages and its distribution. This is our other preoccupation.

Thirdly, we have been great supporters of Open Source. All our services run on open source software. Also things like Semantic tagging are gaining traction but they are very specific to us. Besides that we have converted all our internal services into web services. Recently I was asked to speak an audience of CIOs on web-enabling of services and I found a very skeptical audience to whom I was trying to explain that I am not a technology vendor dishing out marketing hype. So I have a feeling that Indian IT folks are 5 years behind time.

Moving forward do you see technology becoming increasingly critical to business success?

In India we have changed our views about technology quite historically since the 1980 s and 90 s when technology was supposed to be a job destroyer. In the 80s and early 90s we used to have periodic strikes against automation in LIC or railways offices because people perceived automation as something that took their jobs away. But then the IT services boom happened, people realized technology was not a job destroyer but job creator. You had iconic companies like Satyam and Infosys come up and people hoped to get jobs in them.
The positive feel was further enhanced when these companies announced adding thousands of employees each year. Indian policymakers then started to think technology meant jobs while in the US they took an exactly opposite view. In my personal view neither of this can be the reason why you adopt technology. The real reason should be convenience, benefits for users and use of technology to extend services to users. For instance ATMs enable you to save time and effort by avoiding going to bank branches and the railway reservation system is similarly convenient. I am a great fan of using technology to extend services to people and make their lives easier.

As an industry person who has observed Indian industry closely, do you think Indian businesses use IT strategically or just as a tactical tool?

I don’t think in India they use it strategically. For instance take this example of a leader of a large enterprise which is known for extending technology to rural areas. I met him once at an event and while interacting with him found out that he does not have an e-mail id. His secretary receives his e-mail and prints it out for him to read everyday. And this for the leader of a company that has a specialized IT division, is known for rural extension of technology and even has a Harvard Business School case study done on it for innovative use of technology.

So Indian business executives who are currently at the top, have not had to learn anything technologically, it has not been important. They have grown in the licence-permit raj by their ability to get licences from government or getting government to deny licences to competitors or being able to raise capital quickly or raiding the stock markets. But using technology to shape things is something that has not mattered really to many companies in India. I think all this will change as competition intensifies.

What about your own use of technology? Is it strategic or merely tactical?

For us it has to be strategic because our business is centered on that. For me to say anything else would not be correct.

What are your expectations from somebody who handles IT in your organization?

One issue we have is when we recruit people for finance or other functional areas, it is hard to find those who are IT-savvy. Today when everything is digital, people in all functional areas need to be IT-savvy. For instance in order to implement Sarbanes Oxley controls you have to do it digitally.

On the other hand, we have a lot of IITians who are very IT-savvy; they know data mining and computer science but lack the business or marketing skills. Our education system and the curriculums we set have a lot to answer for this. For instance, the IT syllabus for Chartered Accountancy courses is 15 years behind time. If you look at some of the leading business schools, including the IIMs, and I am on the board of IIM Calcutta so I have seen it closely, they have heavy duty IT and marketing courses, but nothing that intersects both.

Personally, are you gadget-savvy? What are the gadgets you use?

I personally love gadgets and the most exciting thing about them is that now you can do a lot many smart things on smartphones like iPhone and Android. Anything that provides applications comparable to a PC, I find exciting, not just for productivity purposes but also for fun. I think the action arena in the future is clearly going to be mobiles.

Source: CXOToday

It’s an amazing list of 101 ways to make your day a beautiful one.

• Get enough sleep the night before your awesome day.
• Clean your room the night before so that you wake up to a nice clean room.
• Have a refreshing shower or a nice warm bubble bath.
• Pick your favourite oufit or one that flatters you.
• Eat a healthy breakfast.
• Go for an early morning jog.
• Read the newpaper.
• Have a cup of tea or coffee.
• Have scones or muffins with jam and cream.
• Let someone else drive.
• Spend your day with friends or your family or your loved ones.
• Go to the beach.
• Go shopping and spoil yourself.
• Get a haircut. If you are a woman, get highlights too.
• Take your phone with you in case you need it.
• If you are very overwhelmed with life leave your phone in the car whilst you walk on the beach.
• Put your toes into the ocean.
• Wear suncreen with a goog SPF.
• Be around people that make you feel good about yourself.
• Say a prayer.
• Do something that you have been meaning to do for a long time.
• Spend some time on your favourite website.
• Look good wherever you go. That will help you to feel good.
• Smile!
• Tell a joke to make other people laugh.
• Do something for the poor.
• Eat your favourite food.
• Watch your favourite tv shows.
• Do some gardening.
• Spend some time with the kids.
• Wear a cool hat.
• If it is winter, go for a wak in your new coat.
• If you don’t have a new coat, buy one.
• Go onto your favourite social networks.
• Read a book.
• Paint a picture.
• Don’t think about things that make you stressed or angry.
• Express your feelings in art or poerty, or by talking with an understanding person.
• Spend some time with your pet. Animals love attention from their owners.
• Jump in puddles if it is raining.
• Go to a park with a group of friends.
• Have a picnic.
• Sing a song.
• Cook something.
• Pick a flower in your garden.
• Read a joke book.
• Write in your diary.
• Go for a jog or to the gym.
• Relax in your slippers.
• Avoid arguments and be nice to other people.
• Go on a boat.
• Page through a magazine.
• Have more tea or coffee.
• Wear a wacky outfit.
• Gossip (but not too much).
• Laugh
• Bake with your mom.
• Go to your favourite restaurant.
• Drink water.
• Have a power nap.
• Buy someone a gift.
• Go to the zoo.
• Go dancing.
• Brush your teeth and flosh.
• Go to a game reserve.
• Collect the post or send a letter.
• Play with stickers.
• Make a hub page.
• Play the My Little Pony Game Online.
• Watch the news.
• Make new goals.
• Use a nice cream or beauty product.
• Look at something shiny
• Go star gazing
• Watch the clouds.
• Go fishing.
• Go for a hike.
• Go mountain biking.
• Go to a fun fair.
• Facepaint your face.
• Kiss your sweetheart.
• Stock the fridge.
• Go to macca’s.
• Text your friends
• Make a snowman.
• Swim
• Play Tennis
• Sit in the sun.
• Eat a pie on a bench
• Give yourself a makeover
• Get a cool dvd.
• Roast marshmellows on a camp fire.
• Tell your friend a secret.
• Make money online
• Learn a new word
• Do a crosword puzzle.
• Wear something crazy
• Paint your nails
• Buy some Swiss chocolates.
• Wash your hair
• Give yourself a break.

Source: HubPages

Hope these helps you to re-define and enhance your relationships. 62 Ways to Show “Love”:

1. Say “I love you.“
2. Don’t compare them to anyone.
3. Be courteous at all times.
4. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
5. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others..).
6. Give them your full attention when talking.
7. Become their biggest fan!
8. Toast each other regularly.
9. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
10. Share funny quotes or events.
11. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
12. Read books aloud together.
13. Say you’re sorry.
14. Recall good and bad memories.
15. Let go any bad experience and anger.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Let the tears flow together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. Forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Show your joy when they come home.
24. Bake cookies.
25. Forget about past mistakes.
26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
27. Solve problems together – crosswords or war.
28. Show your gratitude for them.
29. Be a good sounding board.
30. Take pride in them. Show your pride.
31. Compliment them in front of others.
32. Spend time with them.
33. Listen to them.
34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
35. Take vacations together.
36. Tell the truth.
37. Use pet names.
38. Practice self-acceptance.
39. Hunt for treasure together.
40. Be interested in their interests.
41. Let go of jealousy.
42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
44. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
45. Ignore slights.
46. Pray or meditate together.
47. Practice forgiveness.
48. Watch classic movies together.
49. Leave notes or send letters.
50. Buy a “for no reason” gift.
51. Don’t gossip or judge.
52. Give the benefit of the doubt.
53. Give space when they’re in a bad or sad mood.
54. Learn something new together.
55. Go dancing.
56. Keep your promises.
57. Make them laugh.
58. Consider their feelings.
59. Hide a treat in their lunch.
60. Make home a fun place to be.
61. Let them make their own decisions.
62. Say what you mean.

Source: Ruhani Rabin

Have you ever sensed an awkward understanding between two people who are confused and wondering if they’re friends or lovers? You may be one of those who feel that way about a friend.

So what do you do, take the plunge or brush the thought away? It all depends on what you want out of the relationship.

If you have ever taken the time to notice, and grope around a bit, you’d be able to see that there’s a distinct line separating the bonds of friendship and love. If you haven’t figured it out yet, look around. Haven’t you ever noticed two friends of yours who seem to be in love, but somehow are still friends? Or have you ever had a mild crush on a friend? Remember how weird it felt each time you hug them or held hands while crossing a street? Well, it’s embarrassingly stupid, isn’t it? You know the both of you should be in love, but yet, there’s that bond of friendship that seems to be holding you back. So what do you do about it? Do you just hold your fluttering heart in your hands until it regains its composure or do you fling it out towards that friend and hope they’d catch it? Let’s admit it. Would you catch a bleeding heart that’s thrown right at you when you least expect it? Perhaps not. So what do you do when you’re friends, but really have to be lovers?

Falling in love with a friend is like a little dance under the spotlight, especially when you don’t really know how to dance. You jiggle your feet awkwardly with your dance mate, and hope that the audience would never figure that you have two left feet. To your surprise, it wouldn’t take the audience long to figure your secret out. The same goes with awkward friendships. Haven’t we all noticed how easy it is for people to realize that there is something weird going on? Haven’t you ever been teased with someone, at the very first instance when you blushed or stared a wee bit longer at a ‘friend’?

So who do you want to be?

A friend or a lover? Of course, you want to be a lover, don’t you? You. you naughty little bunny! Hey, I’d do the same if I were you, pal. So stop with the ‘I-am-not-such-a-perv’ class act. Listen wanting to go out is sweet, getting physical and cuddly is sweeter, but there are a few things you need to know before you take the icy plunge. First of all, ask yourself if your friend’s love is truly what you need. Do you get jealous when they hook up with someone else, or do you want to go out with them each time they run back to you crying, after another break-up?

Going from friends to lovers is a big transition, and it really depends on a lot of other circumstances too. And it’s tricky business. And most importantly, you need to remember that a lover and a friend are two different people, even if it’s the same person. I remember one time when I hooked up with a friend a few years ago. He was what I had always wanted, sweet, charming and full of wit and humor. But once we did start going out, I saw that he was quite egoistic and stubborn, just like me. We used to argue a lot, and eventually, eight months after hooking up, we ended the relationship. It was a bad way to end something that had lasted six years. We used to like each other a lot when we were friends, but falling in love with each other asked for a lot more than just fun times in the open. And the most important thing that both of us overlooked in love was compromising for each other.

The difference between friends and lovers

There isn’t too much difference really. When you’re a good friend, for starters, you could ask your pal if they’re wearing that cute silk underwear they picked up the last time they shopped. But if you’re going out with them, you could probably take a peek too! When you’re a best friend, you share all the deepest secrets, you’re there for each other and you fight about nonsense. And when you go out with them, you do all of that and one thing more. You take each other’s pants off!

So you see, quite frankly there isn’t much of a difference. However much you’d want to deny it, the main underlying reason before wanting to go out with a friend is because you want to have a more body contact. Yup, that’s right. You want to get physical with a friend. There’s nothing wrong in that, so you don’t need to choke and behave like I said something rude. After all, it’s the emotional touch that satisfies a lover more than anything else.

But I’ve always been a strong believer in the fact that you need to be a best friend to be a lover. A friend is a person who spends time with you, and is there by your side at all times, the good and the bad. A lover, well, usually has the biggest impact in bed.

If you ever want to hook up with a friend, look at it as a business proposition! Here are five considerations that you definitely need to look into before taking the plunge.

Do you have compatible personalities? Or do either of you have a few habits that totally piss off the other person? If you do, the chances of lasting can be slim.

Are you willing to slide back and compromise? You may have a lot of chemistry, but without compromises, all the chemistry in the world can’t make a difference.

Can you both trust each other? I mean completely, after knowing each other’s secrets. Or do you still think this person might pounce on another friend while your back is turned.

Are you really in love? Or do you just have a fling in mind?

Do you think moving further from friends to lovers is a good option? Are there benefits other than just taking each other’s clothes off?!

The move from friends to lovers

Going out with a friend is something that needs a lot of thought. And if your friendship does mean a lot to you, think a while before making a move on a friend. Never forget that a relationship with a friend would never be the same if you ever split up someday. In most cases, friendships always have a way of twisting itself towards love, so if you want to make a move, do so with your own neck on the line.

Figure the feelings

Ask yourself one last time, are the feelings you have for your friend truly love, is it purely lust, or is it because of an emotional upheaval in your life? Sometimes, you could misinterpret your feelings when you feel more attracted to them all of a sudden, or feel jealous when they start going out with someone else. Be true to yourself about the origin of your feelings. You really wouldn’t want to propose only to find out in a couple of weeks that you really weren’t in love, and it was just an infatuation.

Speak your heart

Hey, it’s your friend we’re talking about right? So just speak your heart out and let them know exactly what you feel. Never go straight in and tell them about how perfect your life could be if the both of you could see each other. Do it as cautiously as possible. Take a few days or even weeks to express yourself, because rushing into it would only make the blow unexpected and harder to face, fir your mate. I mean, come on, it’s not everyday that they come across a best friend who has a crush on them, right? But on that final day when you feel your mate’s warmed up to hearing the words from the horse’s mouth, open your moth and neigh!

Don’t push your friend

Now when you make a move at a friend, you obviously know you’re taking a chance. And as with every other bet, there is a good chance that you may even lose. At times, your friend may just not be willing to look at you as anything more than just a friend. Unfortunately, you have to accept their decision. On the other hand, your friend may just burst out laughing or may even freak out. Give them time to make up their mind. They too may have feelings for you, but probably have never thought about it. So wait. It may take a while before they could give you any sort of an affirmation.

The fork in the path

Ouch. this is probably the hardest part of confessing your love. If it goes well for you, you may be the happiest person, but if it goes otherwise, then your friendship is definitely in for a new fork in the road. You may be separated and there may be certain awkwardness in your relationship (which can be healed back to normal with time) or you may even feel too embarrassed to face each other again, which means the end of the road for your relationship.

So what really happens next?

What happens next is entirely left how either of you feel about each other. It may turn out good or it may take a worse turn. I’ve been in these heart pounding moments too. And guess what? I still haven’t really hooked up with any of my friends. Somehow it just didn’t feel right after that incident with my best friend years ago. But, on the other hand, if I ever did come across that perfect friend who can blow me off my feet after I’ve weighed him with the pros and cons, I’d jump right into his arm even before he completes his proclamation of love. There’s no question about that. Admit it, when one of you starts looking at the other as something more than just a friend, the relationship has changed already, hasn’t it? It’s that stage when you can’t change it, nor can you get over it. So all I can say is, irrespective of whether it works out or not, try holding on and be there for each other. What’s the difference between lovers and best friends anyways? Just the fact you get to pull down your mate’s pants in the former!

On the other hand, when you’re pals, you don’t really have to bother with the damn pants, you can still pull their leg!

Source: Lovers Lobby

It’s really a full loaded business phone from Nokia.

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

4. When you say, “I love you”, mean it.

5. When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.

11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”

14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

15. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

21. Spend some time alone.

1. When a girl says she’s sad, but she isn’t crying, it means she’s crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you’ve done something wrong, it’s best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3. A girl can’t find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to ‘get over him’ after the relationship’ s over).

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don’t like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can’t go out with you because she has to study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don’t try to guess a girl’s feelings. Ask her…

19. Hearing the words “I love you” is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she’ll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl’s ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25. A simple ‘Hi’ can brighten a girl’s day.

26. A girl’s best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their ‘prettier’ friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.

1. Know how to make her smile when she’s down.

2. When a girl says she’s sad, but she isn’t crying, it means she’s crying in her heart.

3. A girl can’t find anything to hate about the guy she loves.

4. Girls love it when a guy she likes come up behind her, put his arms around her, squeezes her tightly against his chest, and whisper softly in her ear.

5. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually doesn’t know how to react to them.

7. A simple hi can brighten a girl’s day.

8. Keep in mind to be happy in front of her. She’ll think you’re not having fun.

9. Try to make her laugh; it will come in handy when you don’t have anything to talk about.

10. Girls like it when you play with their hair.

11. Call for no reason.

12. Be patient when she takes forever to get ready.

13. Dance with her even if you feel stupid.

14. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her.

15. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

16. Don’t try to guess a girl’s feelings. Ask her.

17. Plan romantic date full of cheesy things; a girl loves to feel special.

18. Always give her a peck on the cheek when you depart from each other, even when friends are watching.

19. Trust each other. If you don’t, just end it right now before trouble starts.

20. Take her everywhere you go with your friends. If she can’t come, say you will miss her. Don’t invite anyone else.

21. Keep your promises; a girl remembers everything the guy she loves tells her.

22. Keep a calendar. Remember her birthday and your anniversary.

23. If you love her, tell her once in a while.

24. Let her fall asleep on you.

25. Don’t let your friends talk to her too much. They’ll steal her away from you.

26. When you ask a girl what’s wrong she’ll never tell you the whole thing, maybe nothing at all.

27. Hugs are the best medicine.

28. Girls hate it when a guy leaves her to do something, but she will understand because she loves you.

29. Tell her she looks great even if she doesn’t.

30. Hearing the words I love you is a great reassurance to a girl, that she is beautiful.

31. Smile a lot.

32. Buy her something once in a while.

33. Make a big deal when you get to see her, even if you’re embarrassed.

34. Always ring the doorbell.

35. Kisses on the neck make a girl tingle.

36. Leave her little messages that she can read later when you’re not around.

37. Hold her during a movie.

38. Appreciate her.

39. When she falls asleep and her hair is in her face, tuck it behind her ear for her.

40. When girls go to the restroom together, they’re gossiping about you.

41. Be first and last to wish her a happy birthday.

42. Never tell a girl she’s useless in any way.

43. When you play games always let her win.

44. It’s OK to give her a peck on the cheek or the forehead when she’s sleeping.

45. When a girl goes out of her way to see you, make it worth it.

46. Love means devotion, caring, and happiness to a girl, in that order.

47. Stick up for her but still be respectful of her independence.

48. Be playful.

49. Tell the truth. Don’t try to impress her, she loves you for you.

50. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.

1. No matter what, my friends will always accept me for who I am.

2. I don’t have to prove myself to other people.

3. Even if I make mistakes, I know that everything will work out in the end.

4. My true personality is one that most people like.

5. I don’t wait for opportunities. I seek them out.

6. If, tomorrow, I were to disappear forever, a lot of people would miss me.

7. I don’t need to be told that I’ve done a good job. I know that I’ve done a good job.

8. When I need help, there’s always someone around.

9. At parties or when socializing, I can always find the right thing to say.

10. I always try my best even if I have a hard time getting it right.

11. I usually feel like I’m a good person, full of hope about my life.

12. I’m very satisfied and happy with myself, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or tells me.

13. I rarely let down the people who really care about me.

14. I’m very good at socializing with other people.

15. Even if I had the ability, I wouldn’t change anything about my personality.

16. If someone disagrees with me, they can still respect and like me.

17. Even though I have flaws and make mistakes, my friends and family still love me.

18. My opinion of myself is more important than others’ assumptions.

19. I’m worthy of others’ affection and kindness.

20. I’m very capable, and always will be.

Horoscope writers use a lot of tricks to make you believe what they’ve said. Here are some of the top ones – and some reasons why, even if you do trust the writers, you should still ignore your horoscope anyway.

We Believe A Personality Analysis – Even If It Doesn’t Really Apply To Us
A famous experiment was carried out in 1948, by the psychologist Bertram R. Forer. He gave his students a personality test, then gave them all exactly the same “results” (which he’d assembled from horoscopes):

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.

The students were asked to rate the personality profile’s accuracy from 1 to 5, with 5 being the most accurate rating. Guess what? The average rating was 4.26 — despite the fact that every single student had received exactly the same rating. This has been dubbed the Forer effect, and it’s been borne out by study after study ever since 1948.

So if you have one of those keyrings that tells you your personality based on your star sign or your name – ignore it.

We Give Too Much Importance To Co-incidences

You might be reading this and thinking “but, my horoscope has come true on several occasions!” Well, I’m afraid that’s just an example of subjective validation – which means you pick up on co-incidences and assign them an incorrect meaning. This particularly happens when it’s something that has personal meaning to you: when you want it to be more than a co-incidence.

Think of it this way. Have you ever had that experience when the phone rings, you think “it’ll be John” and it is? Spooky, huh? But what about all the times when you think “it’ll be John” … and it isn’t. You probably forget all about those.

Horoscopes Use Vague Statements and Generalizations

Here are a few statements taken from typical horoscopes (all from the Daily Mail newspaper).

“There will be ups and downs financially with nothing going quite to plan.”

“But if you can give yourself space to ponder you may be able to answer one or two questions which have been bothering you recently. Nothing superficial will really help so you will need to focus and get right down to the nitty gritty.”

“You won’t suffer fools or slow coaches gladly and will express yourself firmly but forcefully at times. Just don’t go a step too far since you may want support when you get into a muddle towards mid month.”

Notice anything in common? These statements could apply to anyone:

• Aren’t everyone’s finances up and down (especially during current times)?
• DLM readers probably know that getting to the heart of tricky questions in life involves focusing and pondering, not just looking for a quick fix. This is good advice – but why on earth would it only apply to one particular star sign?
• Do any of us suffer fools and slow coaches gladly? And don’t we all get into a muddle on a regular basis? “Towards mid month” is vague enough to cover at least a ten or twelve day period, too.

The Big Reason You Shouldn’t Place Your Trust In Horoscopes

Even if you’re a horo-sceptic like me, imagine for a moment that you do believe every word of a horoscope or personality profile. You could end up hugely limiting yourself because of it. For example, if your horoscope warns of money problems ahead, you might get anxious, or even use it as an excuse to spend unnecessarily, thinking that hard times are inevitable.

One of the horoscopes I looked at included the line: “You’ll occupy yourself happily spending money on all manner of frivolities since you reckon you need pampering.” Now, how many of us have the self-discipline not to use this as an excuse to think “yes, my horoscope is right, I should buy that new CD/shirt/game … even though I want to pay off my loans”.

You could be subconsciously sabotaging yourself because you believe in a nonsense personality profile. Perhaps you think you’re an impetuous and sometimes angry person, because of your star sign – and this is preventing you from dealing with your hot-headed nature (which might be half-imagined anyway). Or maybe you think that you’re shy, because your star sign’s always told you so – and you’ve never made an effort to overcome this.

None of us are “stuck” with our foibles: we can all improve ourselves, break bad habits and establish good ones. Instead of reading horoscopes, find some truly worthwhile reading (Dumb Little Man is a great place to start – and the blogs linked to in the Blender) that can actually help you improve your life.

What do you think about horoscopes? Whether you agree with me completely or think I’m an idiot, let me know your views in the comments!

Source: Dumb Little Man